Birthdays, graduations, even the smallest of victories—his parents always found a way to highlight his sister instead. This is how years of feeling overlooked culminated in a heartbreak one man could no longer ignore.
I have a sister who is six years older than me. For years, my parents canceled on me at the last minute because of her.
I had a basketball game. “Oops, sorry, your sister doesn’t feel like going out.” I was graduating. “Oops, sorry, your sister had a bad day at work.” They missed both major and minor events in my life because of her meltdowns.
When I met the love of my life and we decided to tie the knot, I was worried my sister would ruin another special moment. My mom assured me repeatedly that it wouldn’t happen.
On the day of my wedding, I received a voicemail from my mom saying they couldn’t come because my sister’s dog was sick and she was upset. I was devastated. My best man, however, is a jokester. He took my phone, then went to my fiancée and asked if he could post a video of our wedding as a gift on social media. She loved the idea.
I had no idea about it until we returned home. Our honeymoon was at a lakeside cabin with no cell service.
The post’s caption read, “My best friend. He is an amazing person, even if his parents NEVER showed up for him.” The video was a slideshow of us with her parents, me on the dance floor, and us cutting the cake. Where you would normally see both sets of parents in wedding pictures, there were only hers. The audio behind the video was my mom’s voicemail explaining why they couldn’t come.
I came home a week later to hundreds of messages. Family members from both sides insisted I take it down. They told me my sister hadn’t stopped crying, and my mom was refusing to leave the house.
Maybe I’m the jerk here. I didn’t take it down when I saw the messages. I didn’t call my family back right away. I waited until my vacation was over and enjoyed my time with my wife in our new home before contacting anyone.
My dad told me to take down the video. He said it was “just a bad night for them” and that they would make it up to me and my wife for not coming. I replied, “How do you plan to ’make up’ my wedding? It’s a once-in-a-lifetime event. You chose to ignore my feelings on the whole matter.”
He repeated that they would make it up to me. I told him I would take down the video only when he made up for missing my wedding. Frustrated, we both hung up before saying things we shouldn’t have.
His wedding day, surrounded by friends and his new family, taught him that love and validation can come from those who truly appreciate and respect him. While he still grieves the relationship he wished for with his parents, he’s learning to embrace the support and love of those who choose to be in his life.
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